Andyisms

Gravity makes things tricky.

Upon arriving back at our apartment

Me: Hi, home!

Andy as Home: (weird voice) Hi Aerin!

Me: I missed you!

Andy as Home:  I had fun while you were gone.

Me: Oh? What’d you do?

Andy as Home: Played bocce ball.

Me: Where?

Andy as Home: In space.

Andyisms, Updates

New Feature: Andyisms

Back in college, I discovered a blog. I couldn’t wait for this blog to post updates. It was so simple, so genius. And then the posts stopped coming. I was a very sad panda. I’ve since found other favorites, but Things My Boyfriend Says will always hold a special place in my nerdy, nerdy heart.

Those of you that know me, know that I’m engaged to a kooky guy named Andy. We met six years ago this fall, and there hasn’t been a dull moment since. And, pretty often, Andy says funny, dumb, wacky things. Despite evidence to the contrary, English is his first language.

And so I present to you, Andyisms. An homage to a great blog, and a log of the crazy stuff my fiance says.

Andyisms

On The Smiths

 This Night Has Opened My Eyes is like being punched repeatedly in the emotions.

Andyisms

On Noise

I’m laughing at something on the television. 

SHHHH! This is a library.

Andyisms

On Call Screening

Sitting on the porch, aptly dubbed ‘Porch-ugal’ (thanks, Maliga), Andrew removes my flip flop and puts it up to his ear. 

“Ring. Ring.”

“I’m not going to answer your shoe call.”

“Uh, hey Aerin, you’re screening my calls again. I just wanted to let you know, I have your shoe. So, call me back. The number is… your shoe.”

I laugh. Andrew stares at me.

“You didn’t call me back.”

Andyisms

On The Holidays

“Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
How lovely are your branches
You give me gifts and shiny things
When all I want are chicken wings
Oh Christmas Tree, I can’t eat thee
And so I’m getting take-out”